It’s time to connect and disconnect the dots.
Most of your education and perception of money comes from the home you grew up in. I often say that your dialogue with money is a direct reflection of spending the first 18 years of your life eating dinner with the wrong financial planners.
Now… this is not black and white.
But, if you are stuck in a rut or have reached your money lid… it’s time to do a little exercise to strengthen your money muscles.
Have you ever sat down to connect the dots of why you do what you do with money and why you think the way you think about money?
If you haven’t… today is that day. And if you have… I am going to assist you to go deeper. We are going to focus on your money perception.
Connect and Disconnect the Dots Exercise:
This exercise will assist you in identifying when your present money fears started and why they have been held in place all these years.
The questions below will enable you to revisit the past and begin tracing long ago instilled subconscious memories…
…AND how they affect your life today.
Focus on remembering your childhood and early adolescence so that you can review everything surrounding your thoughts about money.
Focus on remembering everything you can about money… the good memories and the ones that may have brought you pain.
- What were the best presents you received as a child?
- Did you feel you had nice toys? Were they as good as or better than your friends?
- Did your mother work outside the home, or did she not work because you were well-to-do financially?
- Did your grandparents give you money when you visited, or at Christmas or on your birthday?
- Did you enjoy bringing friends to your house, or were you ashamed?
- Did you have nice clothes, or were they hand me downs?
- Did your family have a nice car, or were your friend’s cars nicer than yours?
- Were you embarrassed that you were better off than your friends, or were you okay with it?
- Did your parents ever discuss money openly in front of you?
- Did you ever see your parents fight over money?
- Did you receive nice, thoughtful gifts, or did you receive money?
- Was shopping for school clothes fun or drudgery?
- Did you feel inadequate with the clothes your parents bought you?
- Did you ever steal money from your parents?
- Did you ever steal candy, toys, or anything else from the dime store?
- Do you remember your first wallet or purse? Was it given to you empty, or did it have coins or money inside of it?
- Did you collect coins or stamps?
- Did you get an allowance as a child? If yes, was it less or more than your siblings or friends?
- Did you spend your allowance, or were you taught to save a portion—or all of it?
- Did you work at an early age?
- What was the largest amount of money you ever saw as a child?
- Did you receive money for your birthdays? If yes, were you told how to spend it?
- Did you get visits from the tooth fairy?
- Did you get paid for an “A” on your report card?
- Did your family take vacations? If no, were you jealous when other kids got to go on vacations?
- Did you ever go off to summer camp? If yes, were you glad you went?
- What were your parent’s perceptions about money—lack or plenty?
- What did your parents tell you about money that made you feel good?
- What did your parents tell you about money that made you feel bad?
- Did you have a piggy bank as a child?
- How old were you when you spent your piggy bank money?
- Was your piggy bank full or almost empty?
- What is the one statement you remember your parents always saying to you about money?
- Did you miss out on playing team sports or other activities like tap dance lessons because there was a lack of money?
- Did your parents buy you a car when you were sixteen? If no, how did you feel when other kids got a car and you didn’t?
- Did your parents buy your school clothes for you when you were a teenager, or did you buy your own?
- Did you work after school or at summer jobs through junior high and high school?
- If you worked then, were you able to spend the money, or did your parents require you to save it?
- Did your parents pay for your college education or further schooling? If not, how did you feel when you had to pay your own way?
- Did your parents pay for a sibling’s college education, but not yours? Were you resentful if they did?
- If you had siblings, did you all get equally nice or not as nice gifts from your parents?
- Did anyone of your siblings receive nicer gifts than the rest of you? If yes, how did you feel about that?
- Do your parents still help you out with money now that you’re an adult?
- If yes, are you expected pay them back?
- If your parents are still living, how are they doing financially?
- Do you loan your parents money?
- If yes, do they pay you back?
- Have you loaned money to anyone—family or friends—and not had it returned to you?
- If yes, how did that make you feel?
- As a child, were you told that money was evil?
NOW… use the answers to assist you to fill in the ten worst things and ten best choices you have made with money.
The 10 worst decisions I’ve made with or about money:
The 10 best choices I’ve made with or about money:
Awareness of Your Beliefs
By now, you should be uncovering how your thoughts and beliefs about money have been affecting your ability to succeed in business. Awareness means you have the ability to change.
Begin to purposefully align your beliefs, action, choices, focus, and energy.
You might remember in the movie The Empire Strikes Back when Yoda said…
“Believe in the Force, Luke.”
Luke said, “I don’t believe it.”
“That is why you will fail,” Yoda replied.
Beliefs are repetitive statements you make to yourself… often about yourself. In most cases, you accept them as absolute truth. Like all of us, you grew up in a family that instructed you by word and deed about what life was to be for you.
You were schooled in beliefs and expectations for yourself created by others. Whether you knew it or not, you signed an emotional contract that stated what you were entitled to, but you probably missed the small print. This covered your thoughts, decisions, feelings, and values.
As you grew up, the power of this emotional conditioning continued to assert itself, and your beliefs are reflected in the people you choose to love and be close to, the career you choose to establish, the amount of money you earn, and your level of physical and emotional health.
Thus, your deserve quotient was formed unintentionally at an early age and continues to operate without your awareness.
BUT… now that you are connecting the dots… you have the power to disconnect the dots.
It’s time to reinvent yourself.
Be committed to letting go of beliefs that do not serve you.
Face your fears and turn them into faith.
AND give yourself permission to be abundant and prosperous!