Connecting with people is easy.
You shake their hand, say hello, and ask genuine questions to get to know them.
But do you know what the person is saying beyond their words?
Let’s face it…
…If you can’t read between the lines of what they are saying or aren’t paying attention to their body language… you are missing the boat!
I’ve been in sales for over 35 years and have been a success and addiction coach for 20 years PLUS!
It’s critical that you understand how to read energy, body language, non-verbal communication, what is meant along with what’s said, and be able to read why people do what they do.
Why… you ask?
Because body language and non-verbal communication can account for over 60% of what is being communicated.
So today, I’m going to teach you how to read the signs.
A frown means someone is sad or disappointed.
An upturned mouth means a person is happy. You learned this at a very young age without anyone formally teaching you.
Over time, you began interpreting expressions and body language.
Here’s what you require knowing today…
Human beings are predictable. The more you understand people’s predictability, the better you will be it be able to adapt and adjust to the situation.
NOW, to be in an emotional space to read people on a deeper level, you have to get beyond the fear of judging people. Being able to read people effectively DOES NOT mean you’re judging them.
It means that you live in a know state… That’s K-N-O-W. Not N-O. Meaning you see the signs, interpret them, and KNOW what is communicated.
Have you ever seen someone who broods and pouts? Their bottom lip comes up over their top lip. Then their energy drops.
Have you ever encountered someone who’s hostile and unapproachable and you could tell how angry he or she was without talking to him or her?
These are just a few examples of non-verbal communication that you require interpreting to understand body language.
So here’s the thing…
The psychology of reading body language is not that difficult once you become aware of the signs.
Interpreting The Signs
Watch the person’s eyes.
When you ask someone a question… a simple a yes-no question like, “Have you ever considered starting your own business?” And the person answers with the sound, “Um” followed by a “Well…”
Realize these are stalling words. They are a CLUE you know you’re going to receive a story.
Pay attention to words of indecision like guess, kind of, and sorta. These are words of non-commitment.
When you ask someone a question, and they cross their legs or cross their arms… This is a clue that they are shut off or overwhelmed.
If the person has very little or a tense facial expression, their body is turned away from you, or their eyes are downcast, maintaining little contact… this typically means they are disengaged, not interested, or unhappy.
On the other hand, when you ask a person a question, and they respond immediately, this is a positive sign.
Here’s a bigger clue…
If they use a superlative like: Yes, Absolutely, or Unequivocally… this is a sign that the person is decisive. They are someone who can commit.
Examples of positive body language signs include: having an open body position… that means the arms are unfolded and hand gestures will face up. The person will hold an upright posture and have a relaxed facial expression. There will be regular eye contact… And the person’s arms will be relaxed by their sides when they are not gesturing.
Understanding What’s Meant and Not Said
Here is one of the biggest secrets when it comes to reading the signs.
As you observe the body language of a person, also PAY ATTENTION to what’s meant… not what’s said.
What does that mean?
You can intuitively know what they mean by what they say.
I’ve been a sales professional for 35 plus years. Often, people tell me what they think I want to hear.
Here are some examples:
“Yeah, what I’m going to do is look over this information, and I’m going to get back with you.”
“Yeah what I’m going to do is hire you just as soon as I get my money together.”
“Um… I’ll call you after the holiday.”
“This sounds great BUT… I have to run it by my spouse.”
It’s your responsibility to understand who means what they say and who’s telling you what they think you want to hear.
When someone says to me, “I’m sure you can appreciate I have to run to buy my husband.” In reality, I appreciate someone who can make a decision. The person is assuming that I’m going to agree with them.
Now, I’m not going to disagree with them, but I understand what that means. I also know that some people DO require to speak with a significant other. I do understand that they require to get approval from someone else or acknowledgment.
BUT I also ask a question to test the situation.
“Can you close your husband?”
“Can you close your significant other?”
“Are you going to be able to ask for a loan from your bank?”
These are situations where you learn to ask further questions.
Getting Good At Reading People
When you get good at reading people, you can see the non-verbal communication in their eye irises. You can see it in the smirks in their face. You can see the downtrodden corners of their mouth. You can see how high or low their energy is.
And by interpreting the tone of a person’s voice, you can hear vibrationally where he or she is coming from.
Be attentive when you ask a question.
Does the person cross his or her legs? Do they look away? Does his or her eye iris’s go up and out? Does the sound “UM” come out of his or her mouth? Does the person start telling you a story completely unrelated to the question you ask?
Watch the person’s body language. See how closed and contained he or she is…
…or how open he or she is.
These are all telegraphs… They are signs.
The more you pay attention to the signs, practice interpreting the non-verbal communication, and read body language… the better you will become at the science of reading people.